Annoying Gifts

“Honno o shirushi de gozaimasu ga”
This is the typical greeting when Japanese gift someone. It means that “It only amounts to a symbol of my appreciation, but…”

Japanese really love exchanging gifts. I know some other countries people feel strange about this custom. In fact, my former English teacher from Australia really hated our giving present act because it has strict and confusing rules. Is it annoying or troublesome? Exactly it is annoying and troublesome, but it is the significant way of expressing our heart. We Japanese consider that we should care about our surroundings all the time. Plus, to tell our heart directly doesn’t suite the　disposition of the Japanese, who like to be polite and modest. Gift-giving is the proper way of expressing our feeling. I am proud of this traditional custom.

If you lived in Japan, you would often meet the scene that people present gifts politely. For main examples, the scene is marriage, entering school, and even someone leaves Japan for study abroad and etc. I can’t count. In fact, I also received some gifts from my relatives and friends before I left Japan. Even if the sad scene such as a sickness or a funeral, we never fail to give gifts included condolence. We convey congratulatory or encouraging or any feelings by gift-giving. Also, there are two big gift-giving seasons in a year. One is in summer, which called the Midyear Gift, and another is at the end of the year which called the Year-end Gift. During each two seasons, we give presents as our gratitude with any relationships that the people have been looking after us through a year such as our parents, relatives and so on. We include the hope their health and happiness in these gifts.

You will probably be surprised that there are so many complex rules. Maybe it is the biggest different point from gift-giving custom in other countries, and that is why other countries people feel annoyed about our custom. When I worked in a department store in Japan, I had to learn all the rules. For instance, I had to remember main kinds of noshi (a long, thin strip attached to gifts). We must change it according to the condition. The gift for a pleasant event requires red noshi, but for sad events it’s black. The design and the words written on noshi also have to be changed case by case. Sometimes I wrapped consumer’s gifts with incorrect noshi as well as I was confused about their questions of gift-giving rules. Moreover, we should be careful about visiting manners. Before visiting the house, you had better bring gifts in a bag from the shop where you bought it. You take it out of the bag when you meet the person you will give, and hand him/her it with your both hands. (Handing with single-handed is really impolite manner!) Then you can say the words I said at first of this essay. Naturally, he/she have to reciprocate with a present equivalent to a present you gave. Also, you should send a thank-you letter or call him/her soon after you receive a present. Mistaking of these rules or manners often occur misunderstanding and makes people who receive gift bad feeling.

Actually, sometimes this custom seems to be used as a bribery. Furthermore, it has been become just a ritual, not reflected in the heart. Some people think that such meaningless gift-giving must be needless. I also think so. In fact, many people, especially young people don’t care these complicated manners. So, the better way is to make these rules simpler such as just exchanging gifts without any manners. We can give anything we want to give, and we don’t need to care about strict manners. Nevertheless, annoying and strict gift-giving will have been one of important Japanese communications because we love annoying relationships.

If you want to learn this culture and manners more, check this web site.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Etiquette_in_Japan#Gifts_and_gift-giving